When You Want To Kill The Bastard

I am lucky enough to work on a daily basis with one of my very close Friends.

Or should that be; I am unlucky enough to work on a daily basis with one of my very close Friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my job – I’m certainly not here for the peanuts they pay me…that’s when they actually pay me. And sometime it feels as though I live here as it takes up such a huge chunk of my time. And then there’s the…sorry, I’m getting side-tracked, this isn’t supposed to be a rant at my job. You’ll just have to trust me that I do actually like it and gain a huge personal sense of purpose from it.

(I just noticed that in the course of that paragraph I went from loving it to liking it… it’s been a long week.)

And I love my Friend, at least most days. I think it’s great that we work together, particularly in the type of organisation in which we work, as it has, over the past few years, certainly made our bond tighter and our Friendship closer.

But sometimes…. let’s just say blood threatens to run.

I’m often reminded of the WMD Guide’s description of your cock “a great mate much of the time, but a bloody awkward one occasionally”. That dick is a great description of how our Friendship plays out at work.

It only ever seems to be a problem when we argue. I say ‘argue’, a more appropriate term would be ‘fight’.

Let me get this clear, I’m not talking about some childish playground fall out where grudges are held – what happens at the office, stays at the office and we always, always, give each other a hug before we leave, no matter how many dents, scars and bruises the fight has left us with.

The problem is that we’re both very stubborn, and if we feel strongly about something then neither of us back down unless the compromise is worth it. This is great when we fight side by side, as resolute as the Spartans, however when we come up against each other it’s like head-butting a brick wall – except instead of a brick wall it’s the other guy’s head.

And we know each other’s weaknesses. This is the kicker. When the ammunition is running close to empty, one of us will reach for the low-blow. The right word, phrase or slight of character and a potentially straightforward debate becomes a full blown screaming match, if not worse. Make it personal, heat up the other guy’s emotions, then, as the blood flows faster through his veins and the primal instinct to fight kicks in, all logical argument will fail him.

And that’s when the red mist falls on both sides and all logic goes out of the window, occasionally followed by a chair or, on one instance, one of us.

I have no idea who is ahead in these battles although, if we really wanted to find out, the bodily scars are keeping a tally for us. But the winning doesn’t matter. Both of us want the best for the organisation so, if we were to step

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back and look at the bigger picture, on almost every occasion it doesn’t make a difference who ‘wins’ as both ideas will probably achieve the same ends.

Thinking on those lines, our regular skirmishes make no logical sense. But Life is bigger than logic so I don’t see these battles letting up. They keep us on our toes, tighten our bond of Friendship and, deep down, I think we both really enjoy them.

And anyway, where’s the fun in Life if you can’t get bloody with your Friends every now and then. It worked for the Ancient Greeks.

 

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