We’re not talking about highs here, were talking about lows; depressions.
So it seems only right we throw out the old cliché of ‘Mountains and Molehills’ and replace it with ‘Potholes and Black holes’.
I re-read some old journals recently. They initially started out as you might expect, almost a list of things I’d done, recorded so not to be forgotten. However, as I’ve developed, so have they. They now represent more of a tool to help me distill my thoughts and even work out how I’m feeling.
Reading them back, I noticed two things. The first is how incredibly hard I am on myself. The journal is full of my anxieties; over girlfriends, work, my life. This could be explained because I tend to only write when I’m struggling a bit, when I need to think. But it speaks volumes about my character – quick to beat myself up, slow to congratulate. I suspect a lot of us guys are like that. The journal served as a great reminder to recognize the good job I’m doing ‘at life’.
The secondly observation, is everything that I was worried about has passed. Sure, I might still have some of the issues I had then, but I
can measure progress in dealing with them.
In the moment, we tend to see obstacles as much bigger than they are. The perspective of time allows us to measure them more accurately. It also tells us that we can get through it.
But to see how strong you are, you have to get to the other side.
I heard of another young guy’s suicide recently. A mate called me, it was his friend. From what I gather, the lad was loved by his friends and family. Obviously my friend couldn’t understand. “If only he knew how loved he was”, “If only he’d talked to us”.
If right now, you feel you’re in a black hole, and you can’t see out – then we urge you to talk to someone. You never know, they might just be able to help you navigate. We think these guys are great CALM: 0800 58 58 58 open 7 days a week, 5pm til midnight. You can also find them here: www.thecalmzone.net