So ‘Stepping up to the Plate’ is obviously an Americanism, but due to the international nature of What Men Do (and Balls) we decided to go with it over, ‘Putting ‘em on the Block’, and a silly one about cricket. But the meaning is the same: In this case it means to move into position to hit the ball. In life terms it means to take responsibility for doing something.

And for some guys, ‘Stepping Up’ is paralysing.

A presentation to your boss; taking one of the penalties in a shoot-out; plucking up the courage to tell someone you want to be ‘more than friends’ – all of these require you to drop any protective armour and stand vulnerable to a counter attack.

So, maybe a drop of ‘Dutch Courage’ can help with some confidence issues…

…although it’s probably best not to take a gulp before a big meeting, and I’m not sure how the ref’ would take you boozing mid-game (though the Halifax Town fans would certainly love you for it).

So why do some guys shy away from stepping-up? What is it that’s stopping them? Well, ultimately it’s Fear.

You envisage a worst-case scenario; some kind of Dr Pepper ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ moment plays out in your head. Your voice goes squeaky, sweat showers from the pits, your pants fall down and everyone in the room hates you for what you’ve said.

Sound familiar?

Of course it does, we’ve all been there. It’s all too easy to only think of the bad stuff. Which is all bollocks by the way. No one will ever hate you for trying. They might think your idea sucked, or your presentation needed work… but that’s about it.

But in this situation a more worthwhile use of your imagination is not to picture the worst-case scenario if you do step-up, but rather what will happen if you don’t.

Missing out on something you want to do because you are worried about the outcome is self-sabotage. By holding yourself back, you’re stunting your potential for growth.

Think about it. You turn down the opportunity to speak at the meeting and the guy who volunteers goes down a storm. Who’s your boss going to ask next time?

If you don’t pluck up the courage to ask someone out then, inevitably, someone else will.

And if you don’t step-up to take the penalty, despite knowing you can do it, you’re merely displacing the pressure on to one of your teammates…and setting them up to be the Hero instead of you.

Sure, once in a while you will have a swing and a miss, get knocked-back, or fluff your lines. But guess what – those guys who you thought would laugh or mock you will probably just say ‘bad luck’ and life goes on.

Not only that but, if you’re savvy, you’ll learn from each attempt. You’ll be bigger for it and your potential for future growth will expand. The opposite can be said for missing out as you’ll only beat yourself up more and for longer for passing up your opportunity than you would have, had you done it and ‘failed’.

There’s

not much more of a bitter taste than that of regret. And the more you let someone else take your moment in the spotlight, the more your regrets will pile up.

Men don’t build regrets.

Men step-up.