Just Do It

Where would you put yourself on the scale of spontaneity? Are you a ‘drop everything right now and see where the night takes you’ kind of guy, or more a ‘that sounds nice, how about next Wednesday’, bloke?

I’d say I flit between the two but would plant myself in the later more often than not. It has it’s benefits, like not flaking out and missing arrangements but from this side of the divide, it looks more fun over there.

As a very analytical person, spontaneity doesn’t really fit. When the opportunity to drop everything and dash to

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the beach presents itself, you can’t then consider all the possible implications, whether or not you’re a “beachy” person and just how unfashionable your trunks are. By the time you reach the conclusion, the sun will have long set.

And there’s the rub. Being a thinker doesn’t mean you get to the right answer. Sometimes you just need to go with the gut. At What Men Do, we’re little on Descartes ‘thinking man’ and big on our hunter Gathering sensing fellas.

As you get older, I have a suspicion that thinking man is actually a Fear coping mechanism. He’s the one who will pounce on an instinct, say to learn to surf, and play it around in his head. He’ll look at it financially, from a safety angle and take into considerations what other people would think of a bloated 30 year old mincing in a wet suit.

The Gutteral

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beast within would reach for the nearest board and pound into the surf. Sure, he might drown trying, but as I just heard Jim Carey say in a wonderful speech to graduates, “You can fail at things things you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance at doing what you love.”

He used his father as an example to the student, just about to leave school and enter the big, bad world. His dad didn’t think he had what it took to be a professional comedian. So he made the conservative, rational choice to become an accountant. Then, with a family to support, he was fired.

He lost a job he didn’t want in the first place, and ended up exactly where he worried “failing” in show business would land him.

It’s a great lesson to share, it certainly resonated with me, a guy who thinks deeply about most things. So the challenge is to recognize those pangs in the gut and then go after them before that thinking idiot lets the Feeling fade.


How Flavoursome Is Your Slice

There’s a saying that goes along the lines of “if you want something doing,

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ask a busy person”. I remember when I first heard of this I thought it was terrible advice. How can it be better to ask a favour from someone who already has a huge pile of shit on their plate? Surely asking someone with a lot if Time on their hands would be far more productive.

But experience has show it to be true, people with seemingly less available Time always come up with the goods far sooner – and more efficiently – than those whose days are filled with twiddling thumbs. So how can this be

It seems to me that it all comes down to how Time is viewed by the individual. I don’t mean that I think some people see time in slow motion – maybe some do, I don’t know. What I’m referring to is the importance with which Time is viewed. Even further than that, as Time is a finite resource for all of us – though it continues ad infinitum, we each only get a minuscule slice of the Time pie – it comes down to how we prioritise how we spend our share.

Most people who, when you look at their diaries, aren’t busy, often think that they are. This seems to stem from a misplaced priority in how they spend their allotted Time. They are so used to having plenty of free Time to be taken up by personal pleasure – playing games, watching TV, reading books – that the luxury of “free Time” becomes an entitlement. When they say they don’t have time to help you move house on Saturday, what they really mean is that Saturday is when they watch Games of Thrones and they couldn’t possibly move that to Sunday because that’s their movie night.

Put a genuinely busy person in the same situation and – assuming they’re a Friend – they will most likely respond with a positive answer. They may have the same weekend plans, but because they are busy they recognise that “free Time” is a luxury and comes at the bottom of the priority list – particularly if the favour asked, e.g. moving house, has a time limit on it.

As a really simple example, take the scenario of a busy pub with only one guy on the Bar. He has a pile of glasses which need washing and a group of people waiting at the Bar. He wouldn’t turn to the customers and say “I don’t have the Time to serve you”, rather he prioritises what needs doing first – do I have enough clean glasses to serve these people, who was at the Bar first, etc.

When looked at in this way, Time is a good measure as to whether the guy you’re dealing with is what the What Men Do Guide refers to as either an Adult or a grown-up (see

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the glossary for the definitions). A grown-up acts like the child who tells mother he can’t possibly do the washing up, as he has too

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much homework to do. Meanwhile in the privacy of his bedroom, the runt is trying to complete GTA V.

An Adult knows that Time is precious and to be invested wisely. If that means using a little

to help a Friend or colleague, then so be it. These are the guys who tend to have the most flavour in their slice of the Time Pie.

You Talkin To Me?

Some guys love confrontation. For some, it’s the psychological thrill of bargaining prices down in a deal, for others it more physical. I dread confrontation.

If you look at Hollywood, the tabloids or what’s happening down the pub this sunny weekend, you’d get a picture of how men handle any confrontation: head on. It’s wit against wit, brawn on brawn, mano a mano.

That’s certainly not how I see myself handling confrontation. Usually I try to avoid it in the first place. But if you intend to live your own life, as I do, then from time to time you will find yourself with your back up against the proverbial (or literal) wall. Why? Because what marks you out as an individual, as how you want to do things, will certainly not be the same way as everyone else.

I found myself in a situation recently. It was not a physical confrontation, thankfully. I’ve been running a lot lately and my calves just couldn’t handle a chase. There was an issue with some work that I had been doing with friends. Nobody’s fault, but frustrating.

The subject was raised over dinner and it immediately got my back up. When a question of why something had gone wrong was raised, I reacted a bit Hollywood and puffed my chest out, ‘Well how the hell is that my fault?’ My over reaction shocked a couple of people at the table and immediately put the breaks on this conversation. It also made me feel like a real dick.

10 minutes later, one of the group, a couple of decades more experienced than myself took me to one side and said something about when you find a boat on the river, you don’t push it, you tie it along behind you and take it with you.

Now, at the time I didn’t really get this and it only served to wind me up further. The next morning, once the dust had settled, I thought a bit more about this boating gibberish. Suddenly, it dawned on me what he was talking about.

The boats represent two people. Now, you can try to push a boat in the direction you want to go. I’d call this the Hollywood way. Although in the movies instead of pushing it, you’d launch a full on nuclear attack and probably need a load of oiled up ninja-chicks. Alternatively, you can get the boat, go gently alongside it, tether it to your boat and sail together into a glorious sunset. Hollywood? No. Successful? You bet.

If I had taken a breath when confronted and let the conversation flow, I might have been able to get the other person on board (excuse the pun). It seems to

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me that the boat method is the best way for handling any confrontation. It certainly seems the best place from which to start.

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Going toe to toe doesn’t leave much room for any other outcome than bruises, be it to the flesh or to the ego.

If this is the path you want to take, then know that it’s not the manly one. It might reek of action on the surface, but deep down it’s two toddlers fighting over a toy.

There are going to be many battles ahead. Choosing the ones to fight is one thing, but knowing how to fight is another… Avoiding any conflict but still coming out with what you want has got to be the best. I’m in that boat.

As Heraclitus said, ‘Everything Changes’

One of the most powerful images that has ever entered my mind has been recurring more and more during the past couple of weeks. It occurred during the time I lived in the United States.

I actually lived in New York City at what was the ‘big city’ office of a vast clothing and footwear organisation based in Nashville, Tennessee – not the most liberal and forward-thinking of the Southern States, especially where ‘social advancement’ was concerned.

On one occasion when I flew down to Nashville for an interview with my boss’s boss

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(mostly for him to complain about my incompetence as

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well as my Yorkshire accent) there was an election in progress. It wasn’t a Presidential election so I suspect it was something to do with the Tennessee State Legislature, an entity always portrayed in Hollywood movies with short, overweight Charles Laughton lookalikes who wore large panama hats and spoke very slowly.

What I was suddenly drawn to was a wild jamboree of singing and dancing by those, male and female, who had recently won the

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right to vote as they celebrated via some sort of ‘standing in line’ to undertake the amazing task which had been entrusted to them. As a result of Federal legislation they had now been given the power to put a mark on a slip of paper and become a part of history.

I was so moved by what I was witnessing that my eyes began to fill with what I knew would become tears if I didn’t take immediate steps to stem them. This was very necessary as I was with my immediate boss (who’d also received a bollocking from our superiors). Plus, needing to take a leak a couple of hours earlier in the centre of Nashville, I’d entered the local piss palace through the ‘wrong’ entrance.

Actually ‘entrance’ is somewhat straining the description of what was more like a hole-in-the-wall, it being the entry point for the local population with their notoriously large black knobs …. whereas my knob, being smaller and white, was required to enter through a door at the other end of the building in the style expected of my superior status as a civilised human being. (Having entered, we all pissed together.)

As you might have suspected, I’ve been comparing this wonderful party occasion with the voting for the European Parliament and Halifax Town Hall – the local antics of which have irritated me with their pamphlets, mailings and phone calls. Their level of annoyance has been at such a pitch that I was suddenly brought to a halt.

Afterall, they were only ‘putting their point across’ or ‘telling it like it is’ and how they intend to ‘fix it’, at least from their perspective. Wasn’t that commendable? Wasn’t that Democracy?

Well, in theory yes …. but my youthful innocence has by now transformed itself via the absolving of myself from the process to something closer to cynicism. I no longer see Gary Cooper in ‘High Noon’, the One Man standing alone against the vested interests of the ungodly others.

At this point in time I’m no longer sure who I despise the most; the local politicians with their empty promises or myself, the former idealist who has lost the power to either believe or to trust.

And I wonder what happens in Nashville, Tennessee nowadays when the people are called out to pass judgment. Is it still ‘party-time’, a communal occasion of ‘Liberté, Egalité and Fraternité’ which goes on long into the night?

And if not, why not?

The Art of Healthy Neglect

This weekend one of the columnists in ‘The Sunday Times’ was writing about what the sub-editors headlined ‘Teenage Boys – the towering masses of angst no-one notices’.

The column was written by a woman of course; in my experience most of ’em are because, I presume, females are the more Caring gender.

On the same subject, most male writers are, for me, vaguely embarrassing. The way I read it, as they’re guys, well, they know the score – of maleness. Once you hit the third 7-year life cycle around age 14/15, a young lad finds himself knee-deep in sexual awareness (although in reality it’s only a surface awareness which he’s obtained through his peer group) and the hassles of adolescence, not least of which is his intuitive awareness that to be a male, and to be considered an adult by those others he respects (and indeed confirm him in his adulthood), he has to recognise the ‘being alone’ that’s inherent in his condition.

We’ve made a big thing of this in the ‘What Men Do’ Guide – that in the process of coming to terms with who and what you are (as a male) your integrity becomes key, and increasingly important.

For that reason we cite the rugby ace Johnny Wilkinson as an example of the typical ‘hero’ others – particularly the young – want to emulate. The kind of guy whose integrity is 100% solid and whose word can be trusted.

This ‘being alone’ creeps up on you as the maturing process takes root, which is where the angst comes from. Women, especially mothers, notice its manifestation – how could they not? – as its surface appearance via grunts and scowls and petulant displays of (largely meaningless) resentment make increasing appearances and, being female, they worry.

Along with fathers, male writers on the other hand see the growing angst and smile to themselves. They see the maturing pain of teenagerdom and leave it to do its work …. and in practical terms, what do they do?

They leave their son alone.

This is the spot that female writers (and often girlfriends) get wrong. Their loving need to ‘help’ asserts itself just when a young guy’s struggle is hitting another high point for an attempt at resolution.

Fitting your slowly-maturing individuality into your family, your ‘tribe’, even nature itself, not to mention the cosmos, poses complexities that even the brightest teenager has difficulty grappling with.

Indeed it’s often the ‘brightest’ lad who suffers most of the angst, as the likelihood is that most of his reputed ‘brightness’ springs from his brain, the major tool of ‘Thinking Man’.

Meanwhile, Life Experience – that which reveals what is truly human – comes from ‘Feeling Man’ and ‘Sensing Man’, primordial areas which existed and slowly developed millions of years ago at the time of Homo Erectus. These areas of the human condition remain largely unknown to today’s teenager, who has been encouraged to rely on his brain and his technological box-of-tricks to provide answers and solutions to what is causing his angst.

Having read Sunday’s article I suddenly remembered an old ‘Guide to Rearing Boys’ which I’d read years ago. It never struck me as particularly brilliant until last Sunday when it seemed that it might have some merit. The formulae was to apply ‘healthy neglect’.

It suddenly made sense, so if he’s now on

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to it – Life that is – leave the lad alone.

Joe Average? Me?

Last Sunday I wrote a terrific blog.

I began by pointing out that increasingly I find a reluctance by other guys to answer my simplest questions with a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’. Instead I have to suffer a lot of smart-ass remarks, the majority of which boil down to something in the ‘maybe’ or ‘perhaps’ or that they’re ‘considering other options’.

This wonderful blog then goes on to say that I think this resistance, or inability to provide a straight answer, is the result of the fact that we live in a world in which we find ourselves with too much choice, hence what perhaps would have been a simple decision in the past now places a greater demand on our thought process.

My blog then took a detour as I brought to my readers’ attention the fact that this inability to make a choice was not new to me. As a county bumpkin born here in the Yorkshire hills, I had a mother who had previously worked at the local woolen mill as a spinner.

One of the results of this was that she had a very working class approach to life which included a strong conviction that everyone should ‘know their place’. This was not limited to her ‘place’ but included my ‘place’, your ‘place’ and pretty much everyone else’s ‘place’.

Returning to my main theme I then pointed out that the changing ideas of ones social position in the sixties, the arrival of buying stuff with the help of credit via cheques and overdrafts and, later, today’s ‘plastic’ (all of which horrified my mother, of course), led to the rampant excess of ‘stuff’ which we all have today.

And thinking about this led me to my shirts.

I’d had difficulty finding one to wear on Sunday. None that I possessed pleased me. Now can you imagine a situation more pathetic? Years and years ago I remember distinctly that I only had two shirts, both white. If you’d’ve asked me which one I was wearing the answer was always the same; the clean one.

Nowadays, jaded and pampered, I counted them; sixty-two. Unfortunately all my ‘faves’ were away at the laundry, including my ‘bestest fave’ which doesn’t actually fit me – it’s too small, I can neither button it at the neck or the cuffs. I bought it from the Salvation Army sale for 50p.

And at that point I stopped writing. I knew that as soon as I presented it to my two writing colleagues the clever one would demand to know what the blog was ‘about’, and the pretty one would mutter something to the effect that my insanity was getting worse.

My response to these cruel jibes is to point out that I am not ‘Joe Average’ so if they want a ‘Joe Average’ blog that appeals to the

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mass mentality then don’t come to me.

But thinking about it in the early hours I’ve so far avoided presenting it for use. Is it really a load of bollocks about my mother, my shirts, my choices and/or my state of mind, bearing in mind that I recently chose to buy a shirt that doesn’t (quite) fit despite the fact that I have sixty-one others?

Or am I, in truth, a typical ‘Joe Average’ who’s as confused by excessive choice as everyone else?

The Four Letter C Word

There is a word that causes great tension in the air here at WMD HQ. It is a word that we try to avoid even uttering, never mind full on discussion. Whenever it is spoken, a fight is inevitably on the horizon. It is a word that sends our collective and individual irrationalities into over-drive.

This word contains four letters and begins with a C.

The word is ‘Cool’.

So imagine my horror when I got to the pile of potential WMD blogs this morning and the fourth word I read was ‘Cool’. Has one of my co-writers really written about this ultimate taboo? The guy’s got Balls. Either that or he has come down with a bout of insanity – how can we write about something that is so … well … unexplainable?

This latest attempt was inspired by an article in the Sunday Times wherein a stand-in writer for a regular columnist chose to use the word ‘Cool’ as a vehicle to explain the rise in property prices in those parts of London which have become newly fashionable – or ‘trendy’.

The ire this caused at WMD HQ is felt by all of us as the one area of ‘Cool’ on which we are in agreement is that the only physical manifestation which can be recognised as such is as a human being.

However, this is where it starts to get a bit murky. My colleague who reopened this discussion goes on to suggest that ‘Cool’ is a condition specifically male.

The reasoning behind this assertion is that part

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of the essence inherent in both ‘Cool’ and maleness is the recognition that to qualify for belonging you have to possess the Courage to ‘Stand Alone’. Your integrity is on the line.

This is the moment of truth when most guys fail the test. For most of them Fear induces a placement within the stale security of the crowd, one where ‘Cool’ has no place. As a result, Life becomes a ‘settle for’ programme, the one they use to measure their future levels of cowardice.

Through this connection it follows that what we identify as ‘Cool’ evolved from men’s understanding of each other. This goes way, way back to our ancestors of a million or two years ago when Homo Erectus learned to differentiate friend or foe via his Sensing powers – then a major tool of communication – which in turn led to his newly acquired ability to bond.

These instinctive skills are all that remain within a handful of (What Men Do) guys via their ‘gut instinct’ and self-belief which they retain despite the additional development of language and the spoken and written word.

There’s a pretty thorough coverage of this subject of ‘Sensing’ in the WMD Guide. This highlights that Bonding is closely related to the silence of a male ‘Understanding’ and the Sensing ‘smell’ of trust, truth

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and the depth of loyalty, plus what it feels like to be a man.

This definition of ‘Cool’ is certainly specific to males, but then on consulting the WMD glossary we are told that ‘Cool’ is: “defiant behaviour by an individual who refuses to be other than how he believes himself to be.” Does this defiant behaviour lie solely in the realm of males? Well OK, not only, but mostly.

(I’m not chickening out here, but to pursue this line of thought takes us far and wide of what is practical.)

The problem with ‘Cool’ is that it defies definition. Sure, we’ve made a pretty decent attempt in the Guide – even if we do say so ourselves – but the reality is that ‘Cool’ cannot be captured by language. Like Glamour, it is an inner quality that can only be known through the instinctive (as compared to the intellectual) senses.

Its existence is certainly not found in the advertising world’s domain pushing ‘stuff’, where to be perceived as ‘cool’ (note the small ‘c’) you have to follow the ‘In’ crowd – wear those jeans, drink that brand, eat at that restaurant, and above all else, get noticed!

Such is the antithesis of ‘Cool’.

As to what it actually is …. the debate continues.

You Sure You’re Wearing The Right Shoes?

Recently I came upon a quote by the Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung: “most men spend their lives in shoes that are too small for them”.

The point he was seeking to emphasise was the extent to which Fear held most guys by the nuts in its determination to keep them ‘small’.

And let’s admit

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it – it’s a time of intense frustration when you’re a teenager with your first real urges to take risks …. and this isn’t only limited to getting your end away regularly and with increasing satisfaction. At some point, usually in your late teens, you become aware of what you might call an ‘urge for Life’, an inner driving force to grow and have a deeper knowledge of ‘what it’s all about’.

But then, all too often it stops or becomes weaker and weaker until lethargy joins Fear in its determination to make a mockery of what was once called ‘Vitalism’ to deter you from venturing into the unknown.

Somewhere along the line there’s an intuitive realisation in most guys that to become the ‘Ideal Man’ requires that we summon the courage to ‘stand alone’, become the intrepid explorer of ‘darkest Africa’, up the Amazon or amongst the tombs of the desert places.

Even today the idea of finding yourself alone at the furthest point along the shore is capable of sparking the exhilaration that one might be at a place where no man has ever trodden… that’s before you discover the Coca-Cola can embedded between two rocks.

Today it seems more and more difficult to create something that would be meaningful to others for the first time … though of course that isn’t strictly true. All you really have to do is recognise that its basic requirement is that you ‘stand alone’ by setting an example yourself.

Increasingly, I believe that one thing which is truly evil is the proliferation of items of distraction, ‘toys’ whose only objective is to ‘fill in time’ being quite devoid of any meaningful purpose.

It takes time to write a book – time to write it but, more importantly, time to create it in the mind as something that only you can do. But to do that you have to ‘think big’, that what you’re about to offer may have the power to enrich the lives of others who are inspired by the new thoughts you’ve presented.

The ‘small shoes’ to which Jung refers are the books that were never written, partly because of a lack of

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encouragement to believe you had something new to say, or maybe old stuff newly presented in a different light.

As we say in the WMD Guide, to fit the shoes which are truly the right size for who you could become requires the Balls of Courage, Action, Risk and Determination. Try it and write the book. By setting an example you’ll be doing many of us a favour.

Know Your Apples

There’s a market near me on a Saturday morning. The food’s a bit cheaper than the supermarket so I tend to go if I’m able. Actually, the price is irrelevant, not than I’m loaded. It’s more to do with the feel of the place. There’s something base and gross and human about markets that I’ve always loved the feel and smell of.

Maybe it’s a bit like olives, stilton and anchovies. Someone once explained to me that it’s these kinds of flavours, the ones verging on foul, teetering on the edge of rotten, are the ones that really get our taste buds cranking.

Markets do that for my other senses. Maybe it’s the lack of branding or pretense that other, more “sophisticated” vendors offer. Or maybe it’s nostalgia, having been dragged around markets all over the north west by my nanna. Either way, I’m hooked.

And this week, my faith in the market was reaffirmed by a conversation I heard between a bookseller and his customer. The bookseller is probably around 65 years old. He was talking about – not moaning – that it’s hard for him to make a living now. Though it had never been a doddle as an independent bookseller, he’d seen the big book chains rise and fall, and was now feeling the effects of e-books on his paperback trade and internet auction sites killing off his more prestige editions.

But this didn’t really seem to phase him. What was most painful, was that now, having massed a life time of information on the value of books, both in terms of money and quality, he said that people now perceive his knowledge as worthless. Today, if someone sees a book he’s selling, they will immediately google the price to see if it’s “fair”, then they’ll check a review to find out if it’s any good. Before, he

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said that people knew he wasn’t a cheap vendour, but they came to him because his price was fair and that his taste was impeccable.

I found it incredibly sad. Not for for him, because he

clearly had the awareness to realize that he hadn’t lost anything, it was all perception that had shifted. He still had the knowledge, it was just other people who had changed.

We talk about the worth of instant “knowledge” in the What Men Do guide. In our example it’s about apples. “It only takes a few seconds on the internet and you have learned that there are currently 7500 known varieties of apple. But you still don’t know which are worth eating. You know quantity, but not Quality.”

It’s not really any different with the book seller. Online you can see the ratings from thousands of people for different books, but not one of them has any idea about you. To get that, you’d need to engage with someone in

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a conversation. And who better than a man with a lifetime of love for books.

What have apples and books got to do with What Men Do? It’s all about value. Of course business will move on, replacing the previous ways of doing things. In this case it’s mass online retail replacing independent book sellers. It’s just good to be aware of what we’re letting go of when we accept the ways of doing things. Progress has a funny way of taking steps backward when it comes to being human.

When The Awkward Fucker’s Worth The Suffering

Friendship is a subject we come back to time and time again at What Men Do. Rarely a week goes by here at WMD HQ when the topic doesn’t get some air-time in the regular conversations that start with the words “I’ve been thinking…..”.

It’s been even more prevalent in my mind of late as we are currently in the process of producing

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a third edition of the What Men Do Guide (watch this space) and the chapter on Friendship is currently languishing on my desk awaiting a rewrite – having been passed between the three of us like a baby whose nappy needs changing.

There are two problems faced when writing about Friendship. The first is something we have observed before; the fact that any words used to describe the relationship between two very close Friends always seem to be somehow dissatisfying, always falling short of the mark in some way.

It is this reason why one of our favourite quotes is Michel de Montaigne’s words describing the reasons for his Friendship with Etienne de la Boetie: “because it was him; because it was me.”

The second problem with writing about Friendship is that it requires you to look in to the subject with some degree of depth, and once put under scrutiny you realise that it defies making any sense.

When a close Friend is on your mind it appears as though everything is always hugs and rainbows – the knowledge that this guy has got your back no matter the situation is the foundation of all thoughts about him.

But when pulling that bond apart in an attempt to see its inner workings suddenly all logic ceases to exist. You realise that if this was to be examined in some kind of academic way – say every detail of each partner in the Friendship was listed side by side, or in the scientists favourite form, a graph – then the reasons for these two lives to overlap, nevermind be tightly bonded, are tenuous to the brain at best.

And forget about the hugs and rainbows. While it’s true that in a tight Friendship the other guy provides you with happiness by the bucket load and many of the high points in life emotionally, they also seem to be the ones that provide the most frustration, anger and heartbreak.

Whether it’s the frustration of saying ‘everything is fine’ when it clearly isn’t – why won’t this guy I’m supposedly tight with share what’s darkening his mind – or the blood boiling anger when the boneheaded bastard seems to show no support at all to decisions you’ve made, Friends can be the most annoying of fuckers.

But there’s always the tickling thought in the back of your mind, even in the midst of a earthshaking shouting match, or even a full blown punch up (in which no matter how angry you are the punches are always pulled), that even though on the surface you hate the guy right now you know that if something major happened that instant – say your phone rings and you discover a loved one is ill or worse – then the fight, no matter how intense, will immediately be put on hold and your Friend has your back once again. All disagreements forgotten about.

Even when you think back to those times of anger and frustration the conclusion always is that it’s worth it to have that guy as your Friend, to have him as the guy shielding your back in battle – even when you’re tempted to kill the fucker, and he seems intent on killing you, for some reason you still trust him with your life. Logically, it makes no sense.

But then why should it? Logic, ‘making sense’, these exist in the realms of what we call the

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‘Thinking’ man, the area which developed alongside writing and reading which, considering the time that Homo Erectus has been around, ain’t that long.

The bonding inherent in Friendship is far more primordial, deeply rooted in the unexplainable ‘Sensing’ and irrationality of Feelings.

And maybe shrouded in mystery – being unexplainable – is exactly how it belongs, the unknown being at the heart of what makes life Real and provides the Struggle necessary to being alive.

As a final thought, the hardships which go alongside a Friendship are inevitable and are a positive as they tend to strengthen the bond that exists between you.

As Bob Marley put it: “The truth is, everyone’s going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”